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and just do what it says. Watch the video. Even if you analyze your own handwriting or somebody elses, its so funny.
I just wasn't expecting that at all!
Well, actually, I'm watching the commercials before the floor show scene.
The commercial that is currently on the tube is advertising hard-core Christian Rock albums.
This is just a perfect slot for advertising Christian albums, because, as you know, people who are hard-core Christians who listen to Christian Rock also really enjoy watching dancing, half naked, sweet transvestites from Transsexual, Transylvania (who enjoy tasting the "forbidden fruit").
Sweet, sweet transvestites. Sweet, sweet forbidden fruit.
Tastes like pineapple.
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood:
amused
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
- pissed (3x)
- sex (2x)
- steal (1x)
Well jinkies!
I guess my blatant use of the word fuck didn't ring any alarms hrm?
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood: amused
I have news for you people who don't think I'm good enough for your job: people with degrees in life science don't also have a college diploma in logistics. You get one or the other. Not both. If you don't loosen up your requirements you'll never get somebody to fill your position.
Anyway, getting frustrated at the job market. I have an interview for a job on Tuesday. It only pays $16/ hour, its shift work and its only until August. Well, it would be experience in mammalian cell culture but the whole $28,000 a year doesn't thrill me much. Its at a local company that tests tobacco and tobacco related products for the industry. I have every intention of asking why they still do testing on tobacco products when its obvious that smoking kills. In a nice way of course. Its very curious that a business like this can still exist. Maybe they're trying to develop a strain of tobacco that doesn't contain carcinogens when burnt? HA HA HA HA HA! Thats just funny. Impossible***, and still funny.
Oh well, we'll see how it goes. Its only a 2-5 minute drive from my house -- I can't walk there because the city decided sidewalks beside an extremely busy road were not necessary, so they put a ditch in place of the sidewalks. I'd probably only have to fill up my car once, maybe twice a month. Although walking in the spring/summer would be perfect if I wasn't afraid of a transport truck running me over while doing 80km/hour.
Can you tell I'm in a very pessimistic mood without looking at my 'Current Mood' setting within this post?
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** Explanation for non-scientists: everything organic is carcinogenic if you burn and inhale. Inhaling tobacco smoke will never be good for you. Never. Even blueberries or lettuce, which are both excellent for your nutrition will cause cancer if you decide to smoke them dried on a regular basis. Marijuana will cause lung cancer if you smoke it too often. I don't care what the other health benefits are, you will be inhaling crap if you smoke an organic. Thankfully people don't smoke a pack of joints a day, so their lungs can clean themselves, but if they were to smoke a pack of joints a day: Yup! Cancer. Bottom line: Don't smoke anything. Smoking is bad.
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood:
pessimistic
Dreading that you'll soon have to break out the chemicals and clean the crap out of the oven because its so horrid inside and THEN you look closely at the oven that came with the house and discover its a self clean! So you run around the bottom of the house dancing for joy and then you hug the oven AND then after the cycle is finished you require everyone to inspect the inside of the oven exclaiming 'Look! Look how clean! And there weren't even any chemicals involved!'
My oven now sparkles. This makes me giddy.
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood: ecstatic
Last night I couldn't sleep in bed anymore. Brett insists on having the fan running (and its a loud fan) and I can't sleep with noise. Normally I wear earplugs, but in my ear I have a big red sore (read: pimple, zit, what the hell is that doing in your ear??) and I couldn't wear my right earplug. So at about 2am, I still hadn't fallen asleep so I said 'screw that!' and went to sleep on the couch.
All was fine for about 1/2 an hour. I was just falling to sleep when a furry little black paw poked my nose and a furry little black kitten exclaimed 'mew?'. He got a head pat, which seemed to satisfy him and he went into the kitchen to kill another toy mouse. He's getting good at killing them and then shoving the lifeless body under the stove for softening (or something). Anyway, I settle back in, and just before I am asleep -- nose pat, "mew?". Another head pat and away he went. Now I'm a little annoyed. The third time he did it I was really annoyed. The fourth I stopped being annoyed and began to laugh. I thought dogs only made sure you were awake. Really. None of my other cats check up on me. And why poke my nose? He could have pawed my hair, or just peaked under the blanket, but oh no, he head to poke my nose. Silly little kitten. My old German Shepherd (i miss her so) used to un-burry me when I was ill to make sure I was okay. Its not fun having a 100lbs dog jump on your bed and yank all the covers off so she can lick your face until it dripped.
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Speaking of kitten, Shinobi is getting bigger, but he's still very small for a cat. He's going to be a petit little fellow. Which is upsetting. I wanted a panther sized house cat so that when people dropped by unexpectedly he would run up and roar at them and they would yell 'Oh my god! What is that! I'm so scared! What are you feeding him!?' to which I would reply 'I feed him people who show up uninvited. At first they seem annoying, but then you realize what a great source of protein they are."
I guess we can't always have what we want.
He does run up to people when they show up unexpectedly but the high pitched excited 'mew! mew! mew!' from a little fuzzy dude isn't frightening.
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In other news, the gluten free cereal 'Perky O's" taste like cardboard. Gah. They're horrible. I'll have to make some gluten free muffins or buy some horrible rice krispy type things (I don't like rice krispy's) or something for breakfast. Perky's leave a nasty aftertaste. And they are fricking expensive. Damn you Perky O's! Damn you!
- Mood:tired
Its 2008! Happy New Year!
I hope everyone has had a wonderful 2007. Mine kinda sucked, but that will change soon I hope. Nobody died, or became sick, and I didn't have my heart broken so it could have been so much worse. A big cup of hot chocolate or coffee, or tea or whatever drink comforts you and makes you feel cozy. The best way to start a year is relaxed. So please, don't be like me, sit on your as today! I have to go to Brett's uncle's farm for New Years Day 'dinner' (which is at 1pm in the afternoon). To do this I have to trek through huge piles of snow. I also am making the dinner rolls, garden salad, potato salad and dessert. Dessert is pictured at right, at the top. It is a cranberry swirl vanilla bean cheese cake with shortbread crust. Topped with candied cranberries and a cranberry apple glaze. Yum. I love cheese cake. Except for the crust, its gluten free. It retrospect I should have made a pecan or almond crust. But oh 
Last night I made some really good "Chinese" food. I put the word Chinese in quotation marks because we all know that the average person living in China doesn't eat beef and broccoli and general Tso's (or Tsao's I see it spelled so many different ways) chicken with a side of steamed jasmine rice. And since I'm photo happy today, you can see what my dinner looked like last night at right, bottom photo. I usually don't eat that much meat, but Brett went crazy at the grocery store and I figured it was New Years so whatever. Anyway, that is it for me today. Unless I have something to complain about later you'll be hearing from me tomorrow. Cheers!
Shauna's New Years Resolutions:
1. To stop using so many exclamation marks in my journal. What am I, 12?
2. To eat healthier, which isn't that big of a deal since normally I'm pretty healthy. Its the snacks and the cheese cake that get me. Chocolate makes my clothes shrink. Hopefully broccoli has the opposite effect that chocolate does and stretches the clothes out the point where I need to buy new pants or else they'll fall off my chocolate filled ass.
3. To get a job
4. To grow the biggest tomato ever! That does deserve an exclamation mark. Sometimes exclamation marks are necessary. Emphasis on EVER. And it probably is not going to happen unless I decide organic gardening isn't for me. But I'll dream.
5. To get a hair cut. A real one. I'll need a job first so I can afford the cost. Those assholes charge me an extra $25 because I have long hair and another $25 because its so damn thick. That's on top of the $35 dollars they charge for a plain old hair cut. Its really expensive. Damn genetics. At least I won't go bald anytime soon, there is no way that all my hair could fall out, there is just too much of it, I'm starting to wonder if it grows on the inside of my skull as well.
6. To get a new house, so I can get a dog.
7. To convince Brett that cute little dogs are better because you can carry them around with you. I love golden retrievers and German shepherds etc. I've had a German shepherd, whom I loved to pieces, but I couldn't carry her about with me, and when she tried to sit in my lap (because she thought she was a small dog) I couldn't breathe. OOOH! Maybe I can convince him to let me obtain big dog AND a little dog. Eegads! That is a wonderful idea! Exclamation marks all around! Damn I suck at resolution #1.
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood: happy
PHOTO A PHOTO B
Cookies made with shortening Cookies made with butter
My Chocolate Chip Cookies are always a hit, and never last very long. Although they can be made using vanilla extract, it is the pure vanilla bean that sets these babies apart from the crowd. Really, I'm not kidding. I don't usually like chocolate chip cookies, but when you put vanilla bean in them I want to EAT THEM ALL!
In addition to the vanilla extract vs. bean change, you can also make this recipe using butter flavoured vegetable shortening (photo A) or butter (photo B). As you can see, there is a big difference between cookies made using shortening versus butter. Shortening creates lighter fluffier cookies with height. Chocolate chips tend to float on the top of the cookie and are easily visible on the surface. Butter gives a darker, richer, chewier cookie. Chocolate chips sink to the bottom of the cookie and cannot be easily identified. This is only a problem if you put these babies beside similar cookies containing other flavoured chips or raisins. I personally use shortening as I like the lighter, thicker cookie. But take your pick! Either way the cookies are divine!( Recipe below the cut )
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood:creative
I have no idea where this recipe originated. It has been written on a very old, ever yellowing, recipe card in my mother's kitchen cabinet since I was old enough to remember. This year I substituted split vanilla beans for the vanilla extract at a rate of 1 bean / tsp (5 mL) called for in the recipe. The result was heavenly! If you have no vanilla beans, no mater, these still taste wonderful if made using vanilla extract. Fancy equipment is not needed: I burnt out yet another mixer this Christmas so I mixed these babies with nothing but a bowl, a wooden spoon and a smile. ( Recipe below the cut )
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood:
creative
I know Christmas is over, but I thought I'd post this recipe anyway. Since my body is forcing my baking to become gluten free, I probably will never make this particular cookie recipe again. I've eaten these cookies every Christmas of my entire life, so the whole situation is really quite sad. My mother has told me, on numerous occasions that I was, under no circumstances, to give this recipe to anyone. I don't know why she's so protective of the recipe. Just because it is the best butter cookie recipe ever doesn't give her the right to withhold it from the general population. What I'm trying to say is please don't tell my mother about this recipe blog because she will kill me when she finds out! Besides, I'm pissed at her at the moment, so screw her, and have the recipe!It is a very versatile recipe. You can make the cookies in any shape you want, so they're perfect for any and all occasions! Valentines, Easter, Christmas in July, birthdays etc. Anytime is cookie time!
( Recipe below the cut )
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood: creative
You are humbly requested to send me your favourite healthy, good for you recipe. I'm just dying for new recipes to try, that are healthy.
Please? Pretty please?
Please note that I'm allergic to shellfish.
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In other news, I've done NOTHING today. Well, I updated my recipe blog some more. That's okay, its Christmas. Oh, I guess I sent off some resumes and cleaned the kitchen. Man, I did do things today. That's just wrong.
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- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood:creative
Well, i could. I really shouldn't. I'd have to buy new pants. Bigger pants. That is not a good idea.
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Saw the new National Treasures movie tonight. Not bad. Not an award winner, but it was entertaining. Although I should point out that you can't actually build a city of pure gold. Gold is too soft to build buildings.
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Now Brett is home for 12 days straight. *sigh* the house is going to be a disaster.
Oh well. That's all for now. I know its a boring update, but there isn't much to say right now!
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood: content
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood: chipper
One of the people on my f-list wanted to know more about everybody on their f-list. My profile is pretty explicit in the normal 'who am I?' way, so here I will make a list of 50 things about myself that aren't mentioned in my profile. This technically isn't a meme.
( 50 things you might not have known about sassinate )
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood: cheerful
Poll #1108033 My brownies need clothing!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 24
With what should I cover/ice my brownies?
Don't ice them! Don't touch them! Are you mad? Naked brownies all the way!
6 (25.0%)
Pulverized sugar -- that is super fine sugar ground in a coffee mill so that when you dip the brownie in the sugar it looks like icing sugar, but its actually pure sugar. 1 (4.2%)
Same as above but raw sugar 0 (0.0%)
Regular old butter/cream icing 1 (4.2%)
Fudge icing 4 (16.7%)
Dip the tops in melted chocolate! 1 (4.2%)
Dip the tops in melted mint chocolate and sprinkle with smashed candy cane 6 (25.0%)
White chocolate -- melted of course! 2 (8.3%)
First put a layer of dulce de leche, then cover that with a rich chocolate icing 1 (4.2%)
Other, please comment below. If you have a recipe, do tell! 2 (8.3%)
Thanks for your input!
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood: pleased
- Music:Ray Coniff - Winter Wonderland
I planted the miniature Clematis pictured at left in a pot this past Spring. Because its in a pot, the roots don't have great protection from a really hard freeze -- if the soil in the pot became completely frozen, the plant would die from the drought. So, a couple weekends ago I finally remembered to bring the pot inside.
I meant to put it in the basement to keep it cool enough to remain dormant, but keep it frozen. Instead I forgot/was lazy and left the pot near the patio door in the kitchen. Guess who's clematis thinks its Spring? Damn! I am so stupid! I'm going to have to let it grow, flower and then keep it healthy until I can put it outside in May. Hopefully it won't be pissed off that I screwed up its freeze/thaw cycles. I'm a little worried. I don't have any fertilizer to give it because I used it all in the fall! I'm going to have to buy some fish emulsion soon. Oh well, I'll have a lovely purple clematis in my kitchen in January/February. MWAH HA HA! Flowers in the winter! Are you not all jealous?
The Christmas baking is going well. So far I've made my sex muffins (which are actually just the best brownies in the entire world). They are cooling now so I can't sample one. Phoo!
I have shortbread in the oven. I'm trying out Jamie Oliver's 'ultimate shortbread' recipe from his new 'Cook with Jamie' cookbook. I'm also going to make his gingerbread recipe, which uses the shortbread recipe as a base. So I have two batches of shortbread in the oven. Its taking so long to bake! 50 minutes! I'm so impatient.
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood:
restless - Music:Ray Coniff - Jolly Ol' St. Nick
- Mood:
hyper
And I'm bored, stuck inside (sitting on the couch with my feet propped up and a Shinobi sitting on my calves) so a meme!
( Which Animal Archetype am I? )
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood:
bored
Then I found the little arse. He was on my grow stand! BEHIND AND BETWEEN POTS OF FLOWERS! How the hell did he get there? He had to climb over empty Clementine boxes and poinsettias to get to the spot he's sitting! He just lays there glaring evilly at me for disturbing his slumber. LITTLE ARSE!
Now I'm worried that he's sick. If he doesn't eat in a few hours I'm taking him to the vet. That'll show him!
- Location:N2P 1P7
- Mood:
cranky
